


How Can I Say I Don't Love You?

by Serendipitousfanfics



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Sad Ending, how can I say day6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serendipitousfanfics/pseuds/Serendipitousfanfics
Summary: It started as a whirlwind romance. But now you aren't sure what you feel. That electric spark has faded. As the days go by, you start to forget why you fell in love with Kino in the first place. You feel trapped between wanting to tell him how you really feel and not wanting to break his heart.How do you tell someone you don't love them anymore?
Relationships: Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Reader
Kudos: 1





	How Can I Say I Don't Love You?

Kino grabbed your hand and pulled you along. He was bursting with excitement. You struggled to match his pace as he practically raced down the hallways. Finally, just when you thought you would lose your arm, Kino stopped abruptly. He opened the door to reveal his new music studio.

Kino giggled. “Isn’t this cool Y/N?” He gestured to all of the new equipment the company recently purchased.

“Huh? Oh yeah.” You snapped back to reality. You weren’t really paying attention. Your mind had been wandering a lot lately and Kino was starting to notice your distractedness.

“Is everything alright? Do you want to talk about something?”

You brushed him off. This was for you to figure out on your own. Once you were sure, you’d tell him. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” you lied. “Just a bad night’s sleep.”

“Aww, I’m sorry love.” Kino kissed your forehead.

_ No butterflies? No sparks flying? Nothing?... What’s wrong with me? _

You and Kino had been dating for about four, almost five, months now. It started off as a whirlwind romance. You met on vacation in Jeju by chance. You quickly grew infatuated with each other, spending every second together. 

Then when it was time to go home, you found out that not only did you both live in Seoul, you didn’t live too far from each other within the city. The first two months together felt like a honeymoon. You couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

But as your lives returned to normal and the stressors of life returned, you felt different. You cared about Kino, there was no question about that. The question was did you see him as a lifelong partner or just a best friend?

It had been weighing on your mind a lot lately.

You realized that Kino was in the middle of giving you a detailed explanation of the equipment while your mind had wandered. You forced yourself to leave your stress behind and listen.

“So have you written any songs with the new equipment yet?” You asked, trying to focus on being present and in the moment.

“Not yet. I’ve started a few things, but nothing’s finished.”

“Can you play me something anyways?”

His eyes lit up even more, if that was even possible. “Sure!”

He pulled up one of his songs, so proud of it already even though he kept saying “I still have some kinks to work out.”

You smiled, reassuring him that it was good so far. It felt good to just be in the moment, hanging out with your best friend. You wished things could stay like this forever.

  
  


“Y/N, I’m home!” Kino yelled as he entered the house. “Where are you?”

“In here!” You called from the bathroom. 

You shut off the water, the bathtub full, and sighed heavily. You were hoping this relaxing bath could settle your mind, maybe even help you find the answers you were looking for. It would have to wait now.

Kino raced to the bathroom, practically tripping over his feet in his excitement to see you. His eyes sparkled. A grin tugged at his lips.

“Hey beautiful. How was your day?” He gave you a peck on the lips as he wrapped you in a big hug. You squirmed slightly at the sudden contact. 

“It was good. You’re home early. Did practice get cut short?”

“Yeah, everyone was really in sync. We got through learning the choreo pretty quickly.”

“Oh that’s awesome.”

“Do you want to go see a movie or something? We could stop by the Haagen Dazs store and get your favorite ice cream on the way home,” Kino suggested.

You looked longingly at the bathtub. The steam had dissipated now. 

_ When did doing my favorite things with Kino start to feel so exhausting? Why does it feel like I’m pretending whenever he’s around? Why can’t I just love him as much as he loves me?  _

Putting on a smile, you turned back to Kino. “That sounds fun. Let me just get changed.”

At the end of the movie, the couple got married. As the bride walked down the aisle, you imagined your own wedding. Your long white dress. Your bouquet of roses. Your loved ones all standing by watching. But you couldn’t picture the groom at the altar. 

When you first started dating Kino, it was so easy to picture him standing there. But now? You couldn’t picture anyone. It was blank again, as if you were waiting for the right person to come along and fill that role.

_ It should be Kino. Why isn’t it him? Why don’t I like him like that anymore? _

Kino grabbed your hand, rubbing it with his thumb. His once reassuring gesture felt foreign now.

_ What are we? If we’re a couple, why don’t I feel something? _

  
  


Climbing into bed after the movie, Kino wrapped his arms around you. You had tried to stay in the moment, but your fears were creeping back. The movie had done nothing to reassure you. If anything, it had solidified your fears that maybe you and Kino weren’t meant to be after all.

_ I hate myself for feeling like this. _

“I love you,” Kino said.

You averted your gaze. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it back. “Me too.”

His eyebrows knit in confusion, but he shrugged it off. He leaned in, giving you a passionate kiss. His lips moved roughly against yours. You felt yourself pulling back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you lied.

“No. Stop saying that.” Kino’s hands balled into fists. He was shaking with anger now. “You’ve been acting weird for the past two weeks. Something’s wrong. We’ve been together long enough that I can realize it. Just tell me.”

“I want to, I just–”

_ How can I say that my heart has already left? How can I say it when you are so happy? _

“Do you love me?” His voice was raw.

You froze, panicked. You tried to think of some way to put your thoughts into words, but no combination of words seemed to make sense. You couldn’t explain how you felt. You didn’t know how to, not without hurting Kino in the process.

Your silence spoke volumes though.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Frustrated, Kino ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the roots. He paced the room, trying to put some distance between you two.

“Kino! Wait!”

“What?”

“I–”

“No, Y/N. Don’t. Don’t tell me more lies. I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Did you ever love me? Or even like me just a little bit?”

“Yes of course I did. But–”

“But not romantically. Not as someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

You tilted your head to stare at the hardwood floor. 

“No.” Your voice was meek, barely audible. “I thought I did. But now I don’t. And I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. I’m so sorry Kino.”

He shook his head in disbelief. Kino started to leave the room, but turned back around. “Why couldn’t you just tell me?”

“I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure either way. I didn’t want to hurt you if it was nothing.” You felt so small under his piercing gaze.

“Well it wasn’t and you did.” Kino grabbed a bag, shoving some clothes into it.

“Where are you going?”

“To the dorms. I’m definitely not staying here where I’m not wanted.”

Your worst nightmare was coming true. The thing you had been trying to avoid.

_ I didn’t want it to end like this,  _ you thought.

You grabbed onto his arm. “I don’t want to lose you Kino! You’re my best friend.”

His eyes were glassy, tears threatening to spill. “You’re my best friend too Y/N, but you’re more than that to me, in ways I can’t even begin to describe. But we don’t want the same thing anymore. I can’t be your best friend when I want us to be more than that. I can’t.”

Kino gently released your grip on him. He picked up his bag, throwing it over his shoulder.

“Kino.” You choked back a sob. 

You didn’t know what to say. You had to say something, anything to make him stay. You didn’t want to be alone.

But Kino had already made up his mind.

“Goodbye Y/N.” His voice rang with such finality. You crumpled to the floor sobbing.

  
  



End file.
